A new beginning

After an excruciatingly painful and frustrating few days, Josh was taken to the hospital around lunch time yesterday, Sunday 17 May. He really did not want to go, and it was a decision that caused us, his parents, much anguish; but his condition had deteriorated beyond our ability to manage it from home. The nurses put up a drip and started the morphine, which calmed him down and eased the pain. We stayed by his bed as we waited for the doctor, who came at 16:30. While we were discussing the options for medication, Josh rapidly changed. For a brief period he was more alert than he had been since before the weekend. He couldn't talk to us, but he looked intently, deliberately at each of us as if to say, "I am going now, but it's alright." His laboured breathing became slower and his pulse weakened and quietly stopped at about 16:45.

The funeral will be held on Saturday at the Maitland Crematorium at 10:30, and the benefit concert that the school has been planning will now be a celebration of Joshua's short but beautiful life, that same evening at 18:00.

This has been a harder journey for me than I could ever have imagined, but Joshua has taught me more in the past month than I have learned in years, and I sense that we will learn much more as Lorraine and I deal with our suddenly reconfigured lives. Thank you to everyone who has been such a support to us and to Joshua. Through the dedication of many friends, Josh was able to live at home, with people who love him dearly, to the very last night.

Comments

[Tanya]

Rory and Lorraine. Words can not describe how much sadness and sorrow I feel for you right now. I am honoured by your bravery and courage to write about Joshua and his moments with you. I am so sorry that you all have been forced into this position and I can't imagine what you must be going through.

I am so glad that we had time to get to know Joshua when we lived in Ontario. Although it was never enough time spent together, I truly am grateful that we had that time with your beautiful and amazing Joshua. I always loved his laugh and his smile. It seemed to come to him so easily.

I am inspired by your courage to honour and celebrate Joshua's meaningful life on Saturday night along with his friends and family. I will do so here at the same time in B.C.

With much love to all of you,
Tanya

[Kevin & Victoria Williams]

Hey Rory, We had prayers and a time of remembering tonight at Erica's. We made a card of pictures and thoughts that your Mom and Dad will bring with them. Have you put any ideas as to what the Joshua Tree Fund will go towards now (i.e. a scholarship)? A few people have asked how they can contribute and I thought that it may still be beneficial to direct them to this site and to contribute either to the fund or to sponsoring Jeannette and the LLSC.

We so wish that we could be with you on Sat. You will be in our thoughts. The concert to end the evening sounds like such a great idea. Josh would love it. Thanks so much for sharing openly with us. It's nice to know what is happening or has happened. Victoria

[Cathy Venter]

I am so saddened by this news. I met you at Caryl Blomkamps house many many years ago. I also have a son Ryan who is Josh's age. Caryl emailed us yesterday about the concert and I went onto your website and natural medicine and discovered that Josh had died. I feel incredibly sad for you. I woke up this morning thinking of you and what you have been through and are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Linda Grover]

Please accept our prayers for peace and strength. The "bag ladies" from London Ontario have been keeping Joshua close to our hearts since last summer. This journey is not being traveled alone.

[Harry and Sheila Hunter]

We are saddened by this news halfway around the world. Someone we have never met but are aware of through email.

We extend our feelings of sorrow and compation to the family and friends of Josh and we will continue to have moments of silence and prayer in his memory.

[Margie Groom]

Hi Rory. I was so sad to see on Facebook today that your beautiful son, Joshua, had died. I have spent the last hour reading your blog - I am so sorry that I didn't even know you had a son, let alone that he was so ill. Please know that I will be praying for you and your family.
Margie Groom

[Cathy & Rob Tucker]

Dear Rory:
The first time I saw Joshua was at your Mom and Dad's house in Oshawa. You and Lorraine arrived and this little bundle of joy went running towards your Mom and she dropped down and scooped him in for such a wonderful hug......as I prayed for Josh through this time, I still remembered that day and prayed for him to be comforted by the love of his family.
My prayers are with all of you now.
Cathy Tucker

[Erica Tsujita]

Rory,
I hope you know that I want to be there with you and Lorraine in Cape Town. I have no doubt the concert will be a moving and emotional celebration of Josh's life. You ARE brave to continue to type in the blog and let everyone know what has happened. More than anything I hope I can get to SA to be with you, so I can sit quietly with you and just be still with our memories and joy of Joshua. My darling big brother, I love you so much.
Erica

[Susan and June]

Words are hopelessly inadequate at a time like this, but you are in our thoughts and prayers, Rory and Lorraine. May you continue to be strong in the days ahead, as you have been during Josh's illness.

[Darius Vaughan-Scott]

Lorraine and Rory, I wish you both all the strength, love and support during this difficult time. Joshua was an exceptional human being. It was my pleasure to have met him and to have been his teacher for the time he studied Tai Chi.
Darius

[Duncan and Hilary]

Dear Rory and Lorraine
We heard the sad news of Joshua's death only today. We can't imagine what you must be going through. Be assured that you are held in our love and prayers, trusting that the God of all comfort will hold you as you walk this dark and tough road.
Duncan and Hilary

[Susan from Toronto]

Dear Rory and Lorraine, my deepest condolences for your unimaginable loss.
I feel very fortunate to have spent some time with your lovely boy.
The concert will be a beautiful way to honor his precious life.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

Susan

[Stef Naude]

Dear Rory & Lorraine

Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. May your grief open into a space for healing and continuing meaning as you reconstitute your lives, as you have done so admiringly in your journey with Joshua.

From HHO : Roger, Charl, Hetty, Rita, John, Naseema, Donovan, Andre, Gordon & Stef

[Tanya]

Dear Rory and Lorraine,

It is now 6:00 in South Africa and I am thinking of you right now as you celebrate your beautiful Joshua's life. I am hoping that you get comfort by all the people Joshua touched and how special he was. I hope that you feel a circle of love around you from those of us who are not present physically today, but who are ever present in our hearts. You are loved by us all.
Tanya

[Deryck, Martine, Owen, Jamie, Robyn, Luke and Carly]

Rory and Lorraine
Thank you for sharing your journey. It is a wonderful memorial to Joshua. I salute your courage. And I grieve for your and our loss of this precious young man. Though it may be through tears, we shall be fiercely proud of him and the love he gave.

[Victoria & Kevin]

You were in our thoughts all day. I'm so thankful that we all got to talk to and see Josh on his birthday. It's a memory that I will hold forever - such a happy day for him. We love you, Victoria

[Wendy Trotter]

Dear Rory and Lorraine,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I think my most vivid memory of Josh was at your Dad's 60th surprise birthday party at Jeannette's. Josh was at the age when he wanted to be into everything all at once. I think he stole the show many times during that celebration. We were honoured to be included.
You continue to be in our prayers during this time of transition.
He will be remembered well!
blessings,
Wendy and Chuck Trotter
Oshawa, Ontario