Oz answer to global warming: baby carbon tax

File this under "I can't believe they'd really consider this."

Australian obstetrician professor Barry Walters proposes that because all humans are responsible for carbon emissions - just by the act of living - any couple producing more than two babies should be levied a carbon tax for every additional baby.

Hell, why stop there? Just stick a methane collector on the rear end, send a gas truck around once a week to every house with a registered baby, take the gas to a municipal depot, and sell it as a new fuel source. And in the spirit of the carbon trading negotiations, shouldn't couples with no babies be allowed to sell their carbon credits to those with three? A whole new market in baby offsets could give new meaning to the term "baby boom".

And what about farmers with all their methane-belching cows? Give every Australian citizen a milk quota, and anyone who drinks more than three litres a week should pay a carbon tax as a way to limit the size of the national dairy herd. The possibilities are endless.