southern hospitality

Neverness does a great lampoon of Cape Town's Southern Line Tourist Route, and in the process reminds me of one of my pet gripes about attempts to promote public transport in what could be a far more tourist-friendly city: lack of coordination between organisations responsible for making travel as safe, comfortable and convenient as possible.

Here are my Top Ten reasons why very few people will use the Southern Line Tourist Route:

1. Uncoordinated information. Let's say you want to find out how to get from Muizenberg Station to all the tourist destinations within walking distance. You won't find a brochure or a centralised web site for this Tourist Route, so you'll have to search for the web site for each destination (if it exists), and just hope that they all have maps. The press release just lists them.
2. Car-oriented maps. If you are fortunate enough to find maps for where you want to go, they will almost certainly not show pedestrian routes, but car routes, as in the case of the SA Astronomical Observatory.
3. Poor publicity. I ride the southern suburbs line every day, but until today, I had never heard of the Victory Ticket, which is a service for booking an entire carriage for a group during off-peak times.
4. No tourism signage. Six stations providing access to tourist destinations are listed in the press release, but you won't find signs at any of them indicating that they are part of the tourism route. And you won't find any signs directing you to the tourist destinations from the stations, either.
5. No instructions for out-of-town visitors. Cape Town's public transport system is a mystery to anyone who doesn't use it. Unless you are staying right next to a station, you have to be brave enough to ask someone how to get there, and your journey might require using a bus or taxi (gulp!). This can be intimidating even for locals, and tourists from overseas will have an interesting time. It seems the promoters of the tourism route assume that everyone speaks English or has access to a friendly local (see point 6).
6. Locals who don't give a damn. Don't ask me how to get anywhere, I only live here. We have enough trouble with summer visitors from Joburg to have to worry about the rest of you. But if you do manage to collar someone, here's a list of phrases that might come in handy.
7. No train schedules at stations. Once a year, Metrorail makes a big song and dance about the annual reissue of their pocket schedules (for which we must pay!), and if you try to get one any other time of the year, you'll be out of luck. If you do get your hands on one, I suggest a bit of brain gym before you contort your mind trying to figure out how to read it.
8. Out of date information. The website showing extra services offered by Metrorail mentions Biggsy's Restaurant Carriage (see link in point 3). I used this frequently to ease my troubled mind on the journey to and from work. Tragically, it no longer operates.
9. Pointless electronic sign boards. At Cape Town Station and a few others, there are variable message boards indicating the next train departure. They sometimes work, but when you really need them is when a train is delayed or cancelled or diverted to a different station platform - and when that happens, the boards are guaranteed not to provide the necessary information. They are either silent on the issue, or are switched off completely. I love it.
10. Incoherent announcements. When the electronic boards fail, there is, in fact, a "Plan B" to let passengers know about changes to train schedules: the public address system. Let me know if you can make out anything that is said. And "Plan C"? Loudhailers, which are no better. Forget about asking at the ticket office; just follow the crowd and hope for the best.
11. Unsafe streets. Metrorail have boosted their on-board security, and there are even a few walking buses to and from Cape Town Station, but for the other five stations on the Tourist Route, you're on your own getting to and from your destinations. Don't get me wrong: there's lots of good walking to be had, but take care. Tourism Cape Town provides safety tips.
12. Grubby trains and subways. See the Neverness post, linked above.

Did I say ten reasons? I could go on. Call 0800 65 64 63 for customer information.

P.S. If, despite the obstacles, you find yourself on the train to Simonstown, enjoy the view. It is stunning.

Comments

[Matt]

Communication, communication, communication!

And a little good old fashion cash for investment. :)